My Secret, My Life, My Campbell
by Rinny106
Summary: A story about Campbell and Maya. Maya is sick. Really sick. In fact, she has brain cancer. When will she tell Cam?...If she ever does. And what happens when Tori likes Cam too? Hmm... read to find out. Rated T just to be safe. Read and review.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first story and I kept going back and forth on whether this should be an Eclare story or a Maybell story. And I finally decided Maybell. They are so cute together I'm making it up as I go so** **it could turn out to be awful, but whatever. I'll try my hardest :)**

**Maya's POV**

As I sit at my desk trying to finish a song for WhisperHug, my mind wanders to my best friend. The brown eyed boy that sits next to me in French class. The one I can rely on for everything, the one that could probably make me smile during the apocalypse, the one who when my whole world is crashing down, he can pull me from the rubble. And believe me, he's pulled me from the rubble plenty of times.

But still, I have never found the courage to tell him the secret that haunts my life.

I think if he found out, he'd look down on me. He'd think of me as a sickly, little child. And I know since he's helped me through so much, I should trust him. What's wrong with me?

I hear a faint vibrating noise that pulls me out of my thoughts. I look down at my desk and see my phone light up.

I push aside the blank, taunting, cruel piece of paper that should be filled with a beautiful song, but instead is filled with blank lifelessness. I pick up my cell phone and smile as I see the contact. "Campbell Saunders Your Reason To Live."

I remember the day Campbell set that as his name in my phone. It was about two months ago. We were sitting by a lake in the middle of nowhere and he took my phone. I chased him around the edge of the water for about 10 minutes. The cold air of autumn nipping at my nose.

Ahh such good memories. In that moment, the curse that's haunted my entire life, was almost a distant memory.

To him, that contact name was just a joke, but to me it couldn't be more true. He, Campbell Michael Saunders, is my reason to live.

My phone vibrates in my hand again and I am pulled out of my thoughts. The messages, both from Campbell, read, "Hey, practice got canceled. Wanna hang out?" And the second one read, "We could have a movie night at my place."

I was a little too pleased with reading these texts. I don't know why, but I've always felt some unnecessary attraction to Campbell Saunders.

I shouldn't be attracted to him though. He's my best friend.

That's it. That's all.

But as I respond to his texts with, "Okay sure be there in 10," I can't help but have fantasies about what it would be like to have him as a boyfriend.

I push the thoughts out of my head and rush out of my house. "I can't think about Campbell like that," I told myself mentally.

But I'm still super excited for movie night. Being with Cam distracts myself from the horror movie that is the life of Maya Matlin.

**A/N: I know it's a short, little piece, but I just wanna see if people review. PLEASE REVIEW. It would mean the world to me if you did. Thanks for reading... If anyone reads it or if I ever get the courage to post it. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**I so happy. Thank you to all who reviewed. you guys seriously made my life. This chapter kinda sucks. In this story, Campbell lives with Tori and her parents and the whole thing with Maya and Tori and Zig never happened. So here's chapter 2.**

**Maya's POV**

I stood in front of the Santamaria's front door. I'm seconds away from seeing Campbell. The doorbell is taunting me.

"Just push it," I whispered aloud. What was wrong with me? Is this crush seriously that big?

A sudden spark of confidence rushed through me. I took full of advantage of this spark and hit the doorbell. A soft, quiet "ding dong" chimed through inside the house.

Swiftly, Campbell Saunders opened the door. He smiled at me and I could feel a grin on my face the size of Alaska. I must've looked like an idiot. "Oh well," I thought to myself, "It's only Cam. He never judges you."

He opened his mouth and said, "Hey. Thanks for coming on short notice. C'mon in." My smile just got wider. I didn't even know a smile the size of Canada could fit on my face. This was gonna be a long night.

...

"'The Cabin in the Woods' or 'The Devil Inside,'" Cam said referring to what movie we should watch first.

"Do we really have to watch a horror movie?" I said, afraid of having to watch a scary movie. "You know I'll get scared and freakout."

"That is exactly why I want to watch one," he said with a slight, devilish grin a the end. "Don't worry. If you get scared, I'll comfort you."

I smiled at his cuteness. Oh crap more smiling, I hate myself for looking like an idiot. Mental note: If you're gonna smile, smile in proportion to your face.

"We're watching 'The Cabin in the Woods' whether you like it or not."

He said, in conclusion.

Right as Campbell said that Tori, Campbell's billet sister, walks down the stairs and into the basement. I don't particularly like Tori because she's all over Campbell all the time.

"Can I stay down here with you guys? It just gets so incredibly lonely upstairs." Tori said, directing the question at Campbell. She sounds so flirtatious around Cam. It sickens me.

Tori is pretty much perfect. She does beauty pageants, she is on the power squad, and she actually has boobs. I'm jealous of her, but I'd never tell her that.

"Of course you can," Cam said as he sat down on the couch next to me. I put on a fake smile and pretended I am absolutely thrilled she's joining us.

Tori sat down next to Campbell, away from me. She is practically sitting in his lap, she's so close to him. Cam scoots closer to me to avoid being right next to Tori. I smile at his action.

The movie starts and in the first 10 seconds Tori already has her perfect face in Cam's shoulder. She claims she's scared, but nothing has happened yet.

...

It's halfway through the movie and, of course, Tori is all over Cam. Cuddling to his side, putting her head in his shoulder. Why not just have sex in front of me?

I thought tonight would be an escape. An escape from my nightmarish life with Cam. But Tori ruined it.

A really scary part of the movie comes on and I have to cover my eyes. Cam put his arm around me and moved closer to me and away from the glorious Tori. "It's just a movie," he whispered in my ear.

In this moment, I want to jump off the couch and start dancing. I feel like screaming in Tori's face, "HAH. Take that princess. I win." But instead I just nodded

But I still feel triumphant that Cam picked me over Tori. Maybe my life isn't as bad as I thought...but I know I'm wrong.

**REVIEW! Should I even continue this?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed and followed and favorited. MFFITS hell yeah I want you to be my beta reader. I tried to put a little bit of your idea in this chapter. Thank for it by the way.**

_Buzz, buzz._ The vibrating is coming from my pocket. The soft, faint vibrating is all it takes to awaken me from my slumber. I always was a light sleeper.

I pull out my phone and the first thing that catches my eye is the time. 12:30. Twelve frickin' thirty.

Only now do I realize where I am. It's 12:30am which is two hours and thirty minutes past my curfew and I'm still at Cam's. I notice my head is on his shoulder and his arm is still around me. He's asleep, too. Tori is not even here. If it wasn't two and a half hours past my curfew, I would enjoy this.

I look at my phone seven missed calls from my mom, four from my dad, and nine from Katie. I'm _so _dead.

I call my mom back and she is furious that I didn't call and didn't come home. I tell her I'm at Campbell's house which only makes her more mad that I'm with a boy. She said she's coming to get me now.

I don't bother waking up Cam. Why should I? I'm leaving in five minutes so what's the point?

I go upstairs, trying not to disturb anyone in the house, but when I get upstairs, Tori is there. She has a look of disgust on her face like she can't stand being around me. The feeling is mutual.

"Wow, you sure know how to steal boyfriends," she said, her disgust turning into rage.

"What do you mean? Cam isn't you're boyfriend," I said. I can't believe we are having this conversation.

"He almost was until you came and stole him away," she said, almost screaming.

"There's no prize for almost, princess, and he never liked you," I spat back. I don't want to talk to her. She irks me so much.

"That's not what he said," she said in a girly, mocking tone. What is she talking about? Did Cam really tell her that he liked her?

Before I could respond, there was a loud honk outside. I know immediately it's my mom. I storm out of the house, angry at Tori, angry at Cam, and, most of all, angry at myself.

I don't need to be angry at my best friend. He did absolutely nothing wrong. Actually, he's done everything right. Unless, he did like Tori and not tell me. Best friends tell each other everything. But I didn't tell him something. Actually, the biggest something of my life. My Secret.

...

I get home after an intense session of being yelled at by my mother in the car. It felt like that car ride would never end, but my mom let me off easy because of My Secret.

My parents and Katie have always felt sorry for me because of My Secret, but with that sorry comes overprotective parents and sister.

I'm the favorite child out of pity. I don't mind, but sometimes I want to be a normal kid and get punishment from my parents. I know that sounds stupid and most kids would love to have their parents let them off easy, but I crave to me normal.

I go up the stairs and into my room. My room is my favorite place in the world. Everything about it is totally me. The posters, the pictures, the bed, the colors. _Everything._

_Buzz, buzz. _My phone went off again. I click the power button and my phone enlightens. "Campbell Saunders Your Reason To Live, One New Message," the phone reads.

I unlock the phone and read the text, "Hey, sorry if you got in trouble for getting home past curfew. Btw what did you say to Tor?"

The fact that he calls her "Tor" makes me so mad for some reason. I guess it's a mix of jealousy and spite. I respond to his text with, "Nothing. She just told me not to steal you from her." I reread the text and send it.

I wonder what Tori told Cam I said. She probably over exaggerated completely. Ugh, I really don't like her at all.

I don't have to wonder for long because Cam texts back quickly. "She came downstairs and started crying on my shoulder. Tor said you told her to stay away from me."

I'm furious at Tori right now. I'm so furious that I don't even bother responding to Cam. If he believes I'd say that, he's out of his mind.

I practically throw my phone on my night stand and jump into bed. I don't know why, but all of a sudden I burst into tears. A mix of emotions is spilled into these tears. Anger, sadness, even the least bit of joy is in these tears.

Tears are my life. Every since I was young, it's all been tears. Tears of happiness and sadness. All because of the dreaded secret.

...

When I wake up, I realize it's a school day. It was such a stupid idea to have a movie night on a school night. I'm so tired.

Regardless, I wake up and get in the shower. The hot water relieves my sore muscles. My eyes are red and raw from crying last night.

The reality that I have to see Cam today sets in. Aww crap, I really don't feel like seeing him after what Tori told him.

He going to question me and it's not going to be fun.

I get out of the shower. When I was in the shower, school felt so far away, but now I have to face the reality. Once I'm dry, I get dressed and straighten my hair and leave my room.

Katie is waiting for me in the kitchen. I leave the house without eating breakfast. I'm rarely hungry so missing breakfast isn't unusual for me.

Katie and I get in her car and we start heading toward Degrassi. "So..." Katie says, "Where were you last night. I was worried."

Katie is _so_ over protective, but sometimes I appreciate it. She's just looking out for me. "At Campbell's. I lost track of time."

"Oh," she simply said, ending our minimal conversation.

As we pull up to Degrassi, my heart sinks a little bit. I get out of the car and Katie does to, but she automatically spots Jake and runs toward him.

I'm alone. Again. I walk up the stairs and into the entrance of Degrassi. I head to my locker. Hopefully, I don't see Cam on the way.

Sadly, my hopes aren't met. I see Cam at his locker lip-locking with another girl. He's up against the locker. I stand there, speechless. My vision is blurry and I can only register one thing. That girl, that has what I've dreamt of, is Tori.

**REVIEW!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: New rule: If you follow/favorite/read you must review! I didn't really go over this so whatever.**

Crushed. That's how I feel as I cry in the girls bathroom. More tears.

The bell rings and I realize I've already missed all of first period. I have a debate with myself on whether or not I should go to French class and face Campbell.

_Campbell. _My sweet best friend who turned into a lying jerk. And the saddest part was, he is all I have. Besides my band, he's my only friend. And he doesn't even know he did anything wrong.

It's really hard to be mad at him considering I still have a huge crush on him. Ugh. Why does he have to be so cute? Why does he have to fit perfectly with me? Why can't he see he we belong together?

My life a full questions. I'm still having a mental debate and weighing the pros and cons if going to French class. I decide to go. It's better to rip the bandage right off. I hope.

I pick up my backpack and head to French class. My eyes are still red, but I really don't care. If Cam asks why I was crying, I'll tell him the truth. Because that's what best friends do, tell the truth, but apparently he doesn't get that.

I trot into French class with my head down. I don't want to attract any unnecessary attention. Good thing Tori isn't in this class because she would laugh at me.

I sit down at my usual seat. All of a sudden my eyes dart to the door for some reason and right then Cam walks in. I put my face down, not wanting him to see my red, puffy eyes. He sits next to me, not aware anything is wrong.

"Hey M," he says. Why does he have to be so perfect?

"Hey," I say in a shaky voice. I think he notices I was crying. I still don't look up at him though.

"What's wrong?" He says, oblivious to why I sound like crap.

"Nothing," I mumble. It was barely audible, but I know he heard me because he sighs.

"Maya, I know something's wrong. Just tell me." He says with pure concern in his voice. I look up at him for the first time. He looks at me desperately.

"You know what's wrong? What's wrong is that I spent six months of my life being best friends with someone who tells me absolutely nothing," I had more venom in my voice than intended, but I don't care.

"What are you talking about? I tell you-" he was cut off by the bell and class starting. His brown eyes say it all though. He is sad, confused, and heart-broken. I feel pretty bad for him, regardless of what he did.

...

After a long, boring French class, Cam stops me before I can make a quick exit by grabbing my arm. Everyone else had filtered out of the class room. "What's wrong?" He says, very sternly but friendly as well.

"You're what's wrong Cam," I say. He looks confused so I continue, "I saw you kiss Tori and you believed that I'd tell her to stay away from you."

Confusion crosses his face like he couldn't recall any of these events. He closes his eyes, probably searching for a way to respond. "Why should you care what I do with Tori? You and I are not dating," he says in a calm tone, but he emphasized the word 'not.' That almost killed me.

"I care because I obviously like you. I have a huge crush on you and for some reason you can't see that!" I screamed the part. It felt good to get my feelings out to be honest.

"What? You like me?" He says in a high-pitch, disbelieving tone.

I look down at my feet. "Yeah. I like you a lot actually. But it doesn't because you have Tori," I say in a quiet, sad voice. I feel so vulnerable right now. So alone.

Cam puts two fingers under my chin and tips my head up so I'm forced to look him in the eye. "The only reason Tori and I kissed is because I thought I _never _had a chance with you. You're too good for me My. Tori and I aren't dating; we never were. I don't even like Tori, but she was a distraction. Something to get my mind off the giant crush I have on you." As he said these words, I felt my heart getting put back together. Piece by piece, my heart became whole again. I smile at him. He is the light of my days.

"So the kiss was fake?" I say in complete and utter disbelief.

He smiles at me, "Yes, the kiss was fake."

"Good." I say, "But what does this mean for us?"

"I was hoping you would ask that," Cam leans down and kisses me. It takes me a second to react, but soon our lips are moving in perfect sync. He breaks the kiss, "Maya Matlin, will you please please be my girlfriend?" He says, practically begging.

"I don't know. I mean you have to get in line. _So _many guys already want to be Maya Matlin's girlfriend. I'll put you on the waiting list." I joke, but then say, "Of course, I'll be your girlfriend."

He smiles and kisses me again. He walks me to my next class while he has his arm around me.

"Good bye. See you at lunch," he says when we reach my next class.

"Bye," I say and give him a peck on the lips. I walk into class with a huge smile on my face.

...

Class went by so slowly all I want to do is see Cam at lunch.

The bell rings and I practically run out of the room. I'm going to see Cam!

I run into him as I turn the corner. "Whoa there, speedy," he says, "You also knocked me down."

"Sorry," I say with a smile, "Shall we go to lunch?"

"We shall," he grabs my hand and we walk to lunch.

On our way to lunch, I spot Tori. She is walking over to us. She stops in front of us and looks at Campbell.

"Hey," she says flirtatiously, "Wanna go to the movies after school?" Does she not see me holding his hand?!

"Umm...I'm sorta dating Maya," he says looking at me. I smile triumphantly.

Out of nowhere Tori bitch slaps me and grabs my hair. We go into an all out cat fight. Ugh. Tori bugs me.

**P.S. Sorry for not updating, but I broke my ankle. So that's my excuse. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Mehh. Didn't go over it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any characters.**

I slowly walk into Mr. Simpson's office. As I go in, I see his face which has a disdainful expression on it. Tori is already there.

"Please take a seat, Miss Matlin," he says, emotionlessly.

I obey without a word. I can only imagine how horrific I must look right now. I have a huge bruise on my jaw bone and my hair is a complete and total mess from the fight. But Tori doesn't look any better.

"Now, what was going through your mind when you two decided to have a cat fight in my school?" Simpson almost screams.

"Sir," I begin, "Out of absolutely nowhere Tori slapped me in the face, then preceded to pull my hair. I was just trying to get her off me." I say honestly.

"That is total bull. Maya slapped me because she's jealous of me," Tori says, sounding very believe and sure of herself.

"And what do I have to be jealous of?" I spit back.

"That's enough, girls." Simpson states, "Now, who started this fight? Because how I see it the other one was just trying to defend themselves."

"She started it," we both say, at the same time.

Simpson lets out a long sigh. "Well, if neither of you are going to confess, you'll both have detention for a week." He says, conclusively.

"Wait," I say, "Campbell Saunders saw what happened. He'll tell you who did it."

"Okay, then let's get Campbell in here," Simpson states. He then speaks into the intercom clearly and solemnly, "Campbell Saunders to Mr. Simpson's office. Campbell Saunders."

I look over at Tori and she has a devious smile on her face. _What is she smiling about? She's about to get suspended or something._

Cam walks in the room which pulls me out of my thoughts. He looks slightly frightened; he looks at me and frowns as if to say _I'm sorry_.

"Campbell, please take a seat," Simpson motions to the seat next to Tori. Cam slowly moves to the chair and gives me one last glance before Tori obstructs his view.

"So, Mr. Saunders, who started this little cat fight, Miss Santamaria or Miss Matlin?" He questions Cam. Anticipation bottled up inside me before Campbell answers. There's a brief moment of silence and I can hear my heart beating a million times in that moment.

Campbell looks past Tori and at me with guilty eyes. "Maya started the fight. It's her fault."

In that moment, my recently mended heart shattered into a billion pieces. My eyes glaze over with tears, but I will not let them fall. I blink them away as fast as possible. Campbell Saunders does not deserve my tears.

"I did not start the fight." My voice comes out shaky, but I know my efforts are futile. I look over at Campbell who's looking down at his feet. Tori is smiling triumphantly. Why would he do this to me? We're dating. Or we _were _dating.

"Will you please leave the room?" Simpson directs the question towards Campbell.

"Yes, sir," Cam says, getting up from his seat and quickly turns on his heel. But right before he leaves he turns around and looks at me.

In that moment, our eyes locked and in his brown eyes I can see he's trying to say _I'm sorry._

I won't have that. Cam screwed me over and that hurt. A lot. I shake my head at him and turn around, facing Mr. Simpson.

"Tori, I assume you may leave too." The principle says, dismissing the bitch sitting next to me.

"Thank you, sir," Tori says politely. Her entire life and act is a facade. Tori walks out, leaving Simpson and me.

"Miss Matlin, what possessed you to jump on an innocent girl like Tori?" Simpson says. The word 'innocent' to describe Tori makes me mentally cringe.

"I did not 'jump on her.' She asked my boyfriend out and he told her that we were dating and she attacked me." I defend myself.

"Two people said you did it. Now are you going to admit to it or am I going to have to raise your punishment?" Simpson says.

"No, Mr. Simpson, I attacked Tori." I say, defeated.

"Now, I know you have been under a lot of stress and you have..." Simpson trails off, not wanting to say it.

"I understand. So what's my punishment?" I say. He doesn't have to finish. I know what he was referring to, My Secret.

"I'm going to let you off with a warning."

"Thank you so much, Mr. Simpson," I state.

"You may leave." He dismisses me.

...

The bell rings and my classes for the day are over. I rush to my locker, trying to avoid Cam. I'm at my locker and I feel a slight tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see none other than Campbell Saunders.

"We need to talk," he states.

"I'm done talking," I say, grabbing my bag and turning around.

"Maya, there was a reason I did what I did. Tori knows something. Something that's really personal and you can't know about. Tori shouldn't even know; I didn't tell her."

"What?" I say, shocked at his words. Did he actually have a reason for his betrayal? And why am I listening?

"Tori threatens to tell everyone a secret I have. And I know that doesn't make up for what I did, but please, please forgive me," he pleads.

"What's the secret?" I say, my blue spheres meeting his brown orbs.

"I can't tell you." He says, shakily.

"Well, if you can't tell me, then I can't forgive you. I'm sorry, but if you don't trust me enough to tell me a secret, then this won't work out." I state, turning around and walking away.

I shed a single tear as I walk out of the school and down the steps. Campbell and I are broken up, after being together for 3 hours. My life is so messed up.

**Well I need like 45 reviews to continue this. I know, ambitious. But I feel like no ones reading it, so 45 reviews. Get to it children.**


	6. Revealed

**Well my lovelies, I said 45 reviews which I technically got because Degrassi-Fan 12 sent me a PM saying her review thingy wouldn't work so that's 45. Yay. Well, I was super hesitant to post this because its kinda sad so yeah. By the way merry Christmas!**

I wake up from my nap in a sweat. My breathing is rapid and my heart is beating fast. I had a nightmare that I lost Campbell. And I wake up and realize my nightmare is true. I lost Campbell.

I pull out my phone and look at the time. 6:24. I remember Cam told me three days ago he had a hockey game at 7 tonight. I check my messages and realize there's eleven messages from Cam. Amongst the apologetic messages, I find one that strikes an interest to me. It says, "I know I screwed up but if you still like me or even think there is a remote chance we can get back together or we could just be friends again come to my hockey game. Please don't give up on me. You're all I got."

This text made my heart melt. And the sad part is I don't want to give up on him. He's all I got too. He makes me feel alive and happy. Friend or boyfriend, I need Campbell Saunders.

I quickly rise up from my original spot on my bed where I took my horror filled nap and go to the bathroom. I quickly brush my teeth, then pull on a pair of skinny jeans. I find my long sleeve shirt that says "I believe in a thing called love," on the front and quickly pull it over my head. I grab some boots and swiftly get them on my feet. I quickly fix my hair until it looks somewhat presentable and put on a light coat of makeup, just enough to make a difference but not too much so I look like a slutty clown. I take a step back and look at myself in the mirror. _Not that bad._

I quickly rush out the front door and the outdoors greet me with an ice-cold gust of wind. I realize I forgot a jacket, but I really don't care. I just need to get to the rink. I pull out my phone and check the time: 6:43. I need to see Cam before the game.

I ice rink is only a half mile away from my house so I run as fast as my fragile, little legs can take me and make it there in record time.

I step into the building and take notice to the team with red jerseys to the left of me. I quickly turn my head and realize my unhappy boy is in that crowd if red jerseys . I spot him; he has his back against the wall and he has a mournful expression of his face. He's completely isolated from the rest of his team.

Campbell is not the person to drown himself in a pool of self pity. He admits what did wrong and regrets it. He tries to make it better and that's what he's doing in this situation. That is quality I will always admire about Cam.

I hesitantly approach him; he still hasn't acknowledged my very existence. Once I'm a few feet away, I feel nervousness overcoming my body. I have butterflies in my stomach, my palms are sweaty, and my heart is pounding like crazy.

I finally reach him and he looks up. Cam looks at me with an odd mixture of surprise and relief in his eyes, "You came," he says in a whisper.

"Yeah, I did," I say quietly but slightly louder then Campbell.

"Why?" He says with confusion now on his face as well.

"Well, I realized I couldn't really live without you," I say honestly.

He smiles slightly after I say this,"So you forgive me?" He says, shakily.

"Of course I forgive you. But this can't be like a movie where the girl so magically forgives the guy and ignores all his stupidity for the sake of love," I say.

Cam takes a step forward and places his arms around me. "I wish it was." He whispers so that only I can hear.

"I don't know," I say, looking down at my feet, "Cam, you made a mistake a pretty big mistake actually and I just don't know."

He removes one of his arms from around my waist and places two fingers under my chin so I'm forced to look at him. "Please stop over analyzing things for once and live in the moment." He says, then places a sweet innocent kiss on my lips. "I need you more than anything, Maya."

"I need you too, Cam," I say with the most truthfulness in my voice. Then we share another kiss before he has to leave.

...

The game is going pretty good. Degrassi is winning 1-0 and the one point they have was made by Cam.

I sat down next to this random guy who I find out is Owen Milligan's brother, Tristan. I assume him and I are friends. He seems pretty nice and I think he's sort of a loner like myself. We have been talking since I sat down.

I glance over to my left to see Tori glaring at me. I smile at her to piss her off more and then turn back to Tristan.

Tristan can ramble on about anything. It turns out he's gay. Oh well, I'm not homophobic.

I turn towards the ice and realize the other team scored twice. How did I miss two points?

Campbell has the puck and he quickly skates across the ice to the other team's goal. A member from the other team skates to Campbell an knocks him down. His helmet comes off and he hits the ice hard on his head.

The referee blows the whistle and his coach runs over to him. I scared to death. "Call an ambulance," the coach yells.

...

I get to the hospital about ten minutes after the ambulance arrives. I had to all Katie to drive me here; she runs into the hospital as well.

I run up to the front desk in a frenzy, trying to get to Cam's room as fast as possible. "Where's Campbell Saunder's room, please?" I say desperately to the lady at the desk.

She looks it up on her computer, "Are you family?" She asks.

"Yes, I'm his sister," I lie easily. I've had a lot of practice with lying.

"Room 116. It's through those doors and to the left," she says as she points.

I run to the doors and quickly get to room 116. I open the door to reveal a tried-looking, beaten Campbell in a bed. "Campbell," I say getting his attention. There's no one else in the room.

"Maya, you're here," he says trying to sit up, but I motion him to stay down.

"Of course I'm here," I say with a smile as sit down in a chair next to his bed. I push his bangs out of his face which makes him smile. There's a brief moment of silence. Not an awkward silence, but one where everything is said and we're just enjoying each other's company.

I notice he has cuts on his wrist. Cuts that could've have come from falling on the ice, but from a sharp knife. "Where did you eat those cuts?" I ask, worriedly.

Before he can answer a doctor that I recognize comes in the room. "Maya," she says, "What are you doing here? You're chemo therapy isn't for another two weeks."

"Chemo therapy?" Campbell says frantically, "What is she talking about? How do you two know each other?"

I decide I need to come out with the truth. "Campbell, I have cancer."

**Sad right? Sorry if I ruined your Christmas.**


	7. It's Who We Are

**Okay, my children, I've decided to make this chapter in Campbell's POV because Maya can only see what she thinks Campbell is feeling. So I really don't see the point in putting in Maya's POV. And that is Maya's secret. She has cancer. I know, I'm a terrible person. And I did have her secret planned out since the beginning. And I have the ending planned out, but not the middle. I'm just weird like that. I take it chapter by chapter. So here's chapter seven.**

**P.S.- TRIGGER WARNINGS. Just saying.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or the characters.**

**Campbell's POV**

I sat there with my mouth agape; shaking my head in disbelief. My girlfriend can't have cancer. We were supposed to be perfect; the couple that everyone looked up to and wanted to be. We were supposed to be each others rock and make it through high school together. But in those three words, 'I have cancer,' all those dreams that I had for our relationship seemed unattainable.

"You-you can't have cancer," I choke out. She's only fourteen. That doesn't happen to fourteen-year-olds, right?

"I know. It seems impossible and I'm sorry I kept it from you, but I just wanted to be normal and have a normal relationship with my boyfriend," she says. The doctor left the room to give us some privacy.

I continued to shake my head; I had tears in my eyes that were threatening to fall. This must be some freakish nightmare that I'm getting from my concussion. I'm asleep; I have to be. Yet, it all seems so real. "How long?" I murmur but it comes out as an inaudible disquietude.

"Huh?" She says confused.

"How long have you had can-cancer?" I say not able to get the word out.

Maya looks down at the floor. "Since I was ten. The doctors found a tumor in my brain. They said I didn't have more than a year to live, but, hey, I'm still here so I've beaten the odds once. They can't remove the tumor and I'm probably going to be going through chemo for the rest of my life."

I can't hold they tears back any longer. The tears cascade down my face like a waterfall. Maya gets up and sits on the bed next to me. "It's okay. I'm okay. We'll get through this, Cam."

Her attempt at comforting me doesn't work for a second and by the look on her face I can tell she knows her efforts are futile. Tears brim her eyes and they threaten to fall. I pull her close to me; her face buried in my shirt. My tears have subdued because I'm preoccupied trying to comfort my girlfriend. _How did I not know_ _something was wrong? All the times_ _she said she couldn't hang out and made up some lame excuse. She was in the hospital_. I mentally cursed myself for being so stupid.

Maya calmed down enough to be able to choke out some words. "If you wa-wanna breakup with me I-I understand. It's a lot to deal with and you have you're whole life ahead of you with you're hockey career and all." She says almost apologetically.

"You think I'm going to break up with you?" I say in utter shock and disbelief, "Maya, I would never break up with you. It took six months to get us here, in a relationship, I mean. We have something special. We complete each other. Why in hell would I throw all of that away because you're sick? And as for hockey, the only reason I play is because if I don't I'll have to leave you."

"You mean all that?" Maya asks with the most minuscule smile. I can tell she's relieved at my words. This reaction to my mini speech causes me happiness and some remorse because if she felt so relieved to hear these words come from my mouth I have not been a good boyfriend. I have not shown her how much she means to me.

"I mean it more than anything." I admit with the utmost truth in my voice.

"Good," she chirps, "by the way where did you get those cuts?" She asks suddenly turning serious again.

"That's not important right now," I say desperately wanting to get off this topic because Maya can't know where I got those cuts. No one can. Only one person does and that's Tori and I didn't even tell her. She just barged into my room.

"No, seriously, where?" She pries.

"Umm...I-umm...I don't know," I lie trying to sound as innocent as possible.

"Cam, I just told you the biggest secret of my life and you can't tell me where you got those cuts." She almost yells.

"Sorry, uh... I was under a lot of pressure with hockey and all and umm... I sort of decided to..." I can't finish this sentence. She can't know that I'm a totally unstable, capricious loser.

"You decided to... cut yourself." Maya says with a frown. She's trying to look anyway besides at me. I can't blame her; she thought I'd be her rock through her cancer, but now I drop this on her.

I slowly nod. That is exactly what I did.

...

**Maya's POV**

I've come to the conclusion that Campbell and I are the most messed up couple ever. I mean with his cutting and my cancer we couldn't be more screwed up. But I wouldn't want it any other way. Our messed up-ness makes us who we are. And we can beat our obstacles together.

**I know it's short but I needed to update. Oh and I didn't go over it because I'm in the car and I get massive headaches when I read in the car. :(**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Well, I got like maybe 3 or 4 reviews last chapter and thank you to the people that reviewed but I can't continue without more reviews. I'm bratty and picky and annoying and honestly a bitch for wanting more reviews, but I really want to Get to like 70ish with the next two chapters. So make me smile and review. But maybe you wanna read the chapter first. **_

_**By the way I'm skipping ahead to a month after Cam finds out about the secret. Okay? Okay cool. Enjoy, darlings.**_

_**WARNING: SUPER SHORT CHAPTER AHEAD!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. That would be too much effort.**_

***1 month later***

Maya's POV

I walk into school with my head down, just watching my feet as I walk. Step be step, I move deeper into the school and get to my locker. I swiftly open it, and mindlessly shift the books around until I think I have the books for my morning classes.

I shut my locker to reveal a smiling Campbell. Without a word, he pulls me toward him and places a soft, lingering kiss on my lips. He pulls away but his hands still rest on my hips and mine around his neck. "How are are you?" He whispers in a soft, almost dreamlike tone.

"Pretty good. I mean besides the fact that my hair is falling out again." I say with a pout. The chemo is making my hair fall out again even though it just grew back a few months ago.

Campbell smiles down at me, "You're beautiful with or without hair." He says, which makes my face turn a shade of scarlet. "Anyways," he continues, "Valentine's Day is coming up..."

"Yeah?" I will him to continue.

"I was wondering if... I mean... Umm..." He trails off, his nervousness is plastered all over his face.

"Spit it out, Saunders." I say with a smile.

"Well, I heard about this Valentine's Day dance that's on Valentine's Day, obviously and umm..." he trails off.

"Yep, I'll go with you," I say and then walk away without turning back. I have a huge smile on my face and it doesn't seem out of place. I'm dating the greatest guy in school.

**It's short and I know you had to wait forever but ya know... review anyways. :D**

**AHHHH! I have to go. My cat is making creepy noises and its dark. Byebyees lovely Internet people.**


	9. Male Bonding

**Kay, darls, (short for darlings) thank you for the reviews :D you guys seriously don't know how much they mean to me. Just like a short "good story" or "I like it" or even just a smiley face make me so happy. So thanks. **

**Enough with the mushy stuff and onto the story.**

**Campbell's POV**

"I think I love her." I say to my older brother Justin while we Skype.

"Sure as hell sounds like it. I mean you talk about her like you guys are getting married," Justin says with a laugh.

"That's the thing. I think she is the one. Like I can picture her and I in ten years, married and happy." I say with a huge smile on my face. I think I'm in love with Maya. Hell, I know I'm in love with her. "But umm... There's one problem."

Justin lifts his eyebrows, "How could there possibly be a prob- she's pregnant, isn't she? Dammit, Cam. Dad had one rule when you left home- do not impregnate girls. How-"

"No, she's not pregnant." I cut in before he starts screaming, "We haven't gone that far and I don't think we will for awhile."

"Okay, then what's the problem."

I take a deep breathe. I need help with the whole Maya-has-cancer situation. "Justin, Maya has cancer," I say slowly and clearly so I don't have to say it twice

Justin's mouth drops open. "What? But-but you two are that happy couple tha-that everyone likes and wishes they could be. She-she can't." He looked so sad and full of pity.

"I know, I know. That's pretty much what I said, but I didn't tell you this so you could pity us," I'm speaking so fast that everything seems to be coming out inaudible, but he seems to understand so I continue, "Dude, I love this girl. I mean seriously love her. This isn't just some high school fling. But I need help. I don't know what to do. I can't exactly google, 'what do I do when my high school girlfriend has brain cancer?' I just don't-"

"Bro, calm down. It's okay. The best thing you can do for her is comfort her. Be there for her. If this relationship is as serious as you say, then this experience should only make your relationship stronger. It'll all be okay," Justin says. His words are calming. His words of comfort seem more sincere and pure than the words of my hockey teammates, who I also told about the situation.

"Thanks. That really helped."

"Where is this Maya right now?" Justin questions.

I check the clock in the lower right corner of my screen. "Therapy- chemotherapy. She has it every two weeks or so," I reply.

"Good. Go to the hospital. Be there for her when she gets out. She needs you," Justin says, giving me more award-winning advice.

"Will do. Thanks, Justin, I got to go to the hospital though."

"No problem, Cam. Tell her your much better looking older brother said, 'hey.'"

"No, bye." I end our conversation.

"Bye, Cammy." Justin says childishly. Then I end the call and shut my laptop. I grab my wallet and phone and go downstairs. I see my billet father in the kitchen and realize he's the only way I'm going to get to the hospital.

"Hey, umm... Can I have a ride to somewhere?" I say awkwardly. Could I be more vague?

"Sure, just tell me where I'm going." My billet dad, Billie, replies cheerfully as he grabs his keys.

I reach my arm up and scratch the back of my neck as I reply, "The- umm... The hospital," I say, completely unsure of what his reaction could possibly be.

"Why do you want to go to the hospital?" Billie questions.

"You see, Mr. Armstrong-" he cuts me off.

"Campbell, please call me Billie or dad or just about anything else besides Mr. Armstrong. It makes me feel old," He says with a wink.

"Thanks, Billie," I find it extremely uncomfortable to use his first name, but it makes him happy, "Well, I need to go to the hospital because my... ahh... Girlfriend sorta has some health issues."

"Like?" Billie tries to coax it out of me.

"She-she has cancer." I hate saying those words, but it seems as though I say them a lot.

"Oh, Cam, I'm so sorry. That must be so hard on you two." Billie sympathizes.

"It's okay. Maya really doesn't like when people feel sorry for her," I say. It's true, Maya hates when people pity her. That was her main reason for not telling me earlier about her cancer.

"Okay, then let's get in the car," Mr. Armstrong says with a ghost of a smile on his face.

"Thanks, d-dad." Did I seriously just call him dad?

The faint smile turns into a full on grin. "No problem, Cam."

...

We arrive at the hospital. The ride was filled with small talk which was mostly about Maya and me followed by an awkward silence. Oh well, I'm just grateful I finally get to see my love.

"Do you want me to stay or just come pick you up later?" My billet father questions.

"You can go if you want. Thanks for the ride," I reply.

"Anytime, Cam, what time should I pick you up?"

I pull out my phone and check the time: 5:37. "8:30 seems good," I say. Eight thirty is when visiting hours end and I want to spend as much time with M. as possible.

"Sounds good. See you then," Mr. Armstrong gets in the car and drives off as I walk into the hospital.

As I walk down the corridors to the familiar hospital room, I think about the entire time I've spent in Toronto. My life has changed here. I found my first, and probably last, love here. I experienced true pain and heartache in this new city when I found out Maya has cancer. I've screwed up here.

I started self-harming myself here, something that I swore I'd never do.

I stopped self-harming myself with Maya's help actually. I decided that I had to put my problems aside to help her. She makes me better. I decide I need to tell her how much she means to me. I need to tell her a love her.

All in 7 short months so much has happened to me.

Before I know it, I'm at her door. I knock softly and hear a small, angelic voice on the other side say, "Come in."

**Sorry it has no actually Cam & Maya interaction, but it's got some brother bonding. :D**

**I need to clear some stuff up that I changed from the actually story line of the show. So Cam and all the other ice hounds came to Degrassi at the start of Maya's freshman year and Cam's sophomore year, instead of after winter break. So in the story it's early February. **

**Oh and if anyone can give the full name of Cam's billet father and say what he's famous for in the reviews, the next chapter will be dedicated to you. I'm paying tribute to the coolest guy in history. Byebyees, loves.**


	10. Just a Burden

**I finally found** **some motivation and inspiration! It has been a while and I've seriously thought about giving up on this story but I have a snow day so I guess I'll post something.**

**MUST READ IMPORTANT NOTE: Okay so I realized something because I reread the story and some how after Cam and Maya made up after Tori and Maya's fight, I forgot to mention Campbell asked his coach for a different billet family. So sorry for the confusion.**

**IMPORTANT: So... Campbell died. -.- oh well. But if you can, I suggest you read my story The Letter. It just shines some light on Cam's unexpected end. It is a one shot by the way. So on to the storyyyy:**

Maya's POV

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Come in," I croak. The door slowly creaks open, and, to my surprise, Campbell Saunders comes in to my hospital room.

I instantly feel self conscious about my appearance. I'm laying in my hospital bed after an intense secession of chemo. My hair is probably a mess as is the the rest of my appearance.

"Cam," I announce. I am extremely surprised that he is here. _Why is he here?_ A wave of nervousness comes over me.

"Hey," he mumbles, a slight smile on his face.

"Umm... What's up?" I ask. I want to why he is here to ease the nervousness that has engulfed my body.

"Just wanted to see you." His small smile becomes ear to ear grin.

"Well, come sit." I pat the spot on the bed next to me, beaconing him to lay next to me.

He walks over as I maneuver to the side to make room. Cam lays down, and immediately interlaces our fingers. I turn to look at him and smile.

"How you been?" He questions me.

"Pretty good. Chemo is getting hard and everything hurts. So I'm doing bad, actually." I state with a defeated chuckle.

"I'm sorry," he says. He presses his lips to my our interlaced fingers.

"It's okay." I say, smiling warmly at him.

"No, it's not. And I feel guilty because I've been busy with hockey, and I put your needs aside. From now on, you come first. Nothing and no one else."

He declares. His words relieve every last bit of nervousness I had.

"Cam, you're a great boyfriend, and I do not need to be the center of your life."

"Maya, you already are the center of my life. You don't even know how much I care about you. And that's my fault."

"Campbell, you've shown that you care about me just by staying with me even though I'm sick… I can never thank you enough for that."

"Maya Matlin," he says as we both shift so we're in our sides, facing each other. "I love you. I love you so much that I can't even put it into words. You make me feel… happy. Genuinely, truly happy. And I haven't felt that in a long time. Thank you. I love you, Maya."

His beautiful words make my heart sink. I love Campbell, but I'm just going to be a burden to him. I will just hold him back. He deserves someone whose happy and, well, doesn't have cancer. "Campbell," I place a hand on his face. "You can't love me. I'm a broken girl. How can you love someone that holds you back?"

"Holds me back?" Campbell says, he sounds shocked. "Maya, you are the only reason I'm going forward. You're perfect not broken. And I do love you. You're my angel."

Even though his word are more than reassuring, I still bare a frown on my face. "I'm a burden," I mumble.

"Stop it. Stop saying that. If anything, I'm a burden to you. Your cancer does not define you. It's just an obstacle on the road to perfect happiness, okay? We are meant to be, M."

"Okay," I say, as a warm smile finds its way on my face. " I love you, Cam."

"I love you, too."

**Sorry for its shortness, but review and check out my One Shot, The Letter.**

**PS (SORTA IMPORTANT TOO) I am still sorta thinking about giving up on this story because I've lost interest in it and I think, from the lack of reviews, you guys have too. So this could possibly be the last chapter even though this is definitely not the ending I wanted. I don't know. :/**

**Oh and since this marks 10 chapters I want to dedicate this chapter to MakingFrenchFriesInTheSnow. She's pretty amazing.**


	11. AUTHORS NOTE

**AUTHORS NOTE: I totally forgot since it was such a long time since I updated to dedicate the last chapter to the guest reviewer Anna. She is such a great reviewer and guessed who Cam's billet dad was. :D virtual cookie for Anna. The next chapter will be dedicated to her as well (if there is one of course). I'm super sorry that I forgot! Love you and all my reviewers!**

**PS Sorry this is just an authors note. I will try to get a new chapter out quick and, yes, there probably will be another few chapters because I must finish the story the way I want it to be.**


	12. She's back

**A/N: Well obviously I decided to continue. I feel like a total bitch right now because I said that I might not continue. I apologize for even saying that because I should have been sure before I disclosed that it could possibly be the last chapter. And for your patience and cooperation with my antics, there** **will be several more chapters and advanced warning when approaching the end. :D**

**Thank you to all who reviewed especially Digd because you helped me realize that I'm being a greedy bitch about reviews. After I read your review, I looked back and read the authors note from Chapter 10 and realized how terrible it sounded. I was bitching for reviews and I would like to apologize for that as well. I am truly sorry for making readers feel obligated to review which is terrible of me. :/ And I do have a great amount of reviews so I should be happy and not the greedy bitch I am. :)**

**Well, I'm sorry for all the wrong things I did in that chapter, including forgetting the dedication I was supposed to put in there. Sorry for my screw ups. :/**

**Someone returns in this chapter...**

**THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO ANNA WHO IS AWESOME!**

**Maya's POV**

"So you guys spent the night together at the hospital?" Tristan says, excitedly as we walk to French class together. It's been three days since the night at the hospital.

"Yeah, it was pretty great," I say. I decided to confide My Secret in Tristan about a week ago. Besides Campbell, he's my only friend.

"And he said he loves you?" Tristan asks. I told him the entire story with every last detail, yet he still needs to ask questions to reconfirm.

"Yep, we're in love."

"Not for long, bitch," a voice comes from behind Tristan and I. We turn around and see, in all her glory, Tori Santamaria.

"What do you want?" I say, bitterly. I haven't seen Tori since about a month ago in Mr. Simpson's office.

"Campbell," Tori explains, smugly. "He came to my house last night. I guess he missed me and is tired of you."

"He did not come to your house last night. Get lost, bitch," I spit.

"Wow, little Maya using bad words now. Congrats," she insults. "Anyways, Cam did come to my house last night. He gave me this." Tori holds up Cam's red bracelet as proof.

"That doesn't prove anything," I say, even though it does prove something.

Tori rolls her eyes, "Maya, it's okay if your jealous. I'd be jealous if my boyfriend had sex with another girl. Especially if the girl is so much hotter than me."

"Campbell did not have sex with you," I say through gritted teeth.

"And Maya's pretty than you," Tristan chimes in."

"Whatever, guys. Just don't be surprised if Campbell breaks up with you." Tori says and walks away with a smug grin.

I turn to Tristan, "What if he did have sex with her? What if he breaks up with-" I was cut off.

"Calm down. Calm down. Campbell would not cheat on you, especially with a tramp like Tori. Just calm down, and take a deep breathe."

I did as he said and took a deep breathe. As I start to calm down, I ask the question I've been wondering about, "Why did she have his bracelet?"

Tristan looks thoughtful for a minute. "Ask Campbell," Tristan suggests.

"Okay," I say. We walk the rest of the way to French class in silence. Tristan is such a good friend. The fact that he's still my friend even though he knows I have cancer, is amazing. We enter French class just as the bell rings, and I slip into my seat next to Campbell and Tristan slips into his seat next to me. Campbell offers me a small smile which I don't return because I still frazzled about the things Tori said.

I watch as Cam scribbles something down on a ripped piece of paper. He hands me the paper and I read it. _What's wrong?_

I quickly write down, _We need to talk after class._ And then hand it to him. He quickly glances over it, and gives me a confused look. I give him a mournful, muted pout, and then turn my head towards my notebook.

...

French class goes all too quickly for my taste. I want to postpone the talk I have to have with Campbell for as long as possible. Sadly, the bell rings and I have no more time to stall. I stand up and start putting my books back in my bag. Campbell stands up and faces me. He just stands there, staring at me. He wants me to make the first move. I look up at him and him a crooked smile. "Umm... I guess we should talk somewhere else."

"Okay, follow me," says Campbell. I do as he says and follow him out the classroom door. He grabs my hand and leads me to the infamous garden. "So what do you wanna talk about?"

I stare at him blankly for a second before a recollect my thoughts. "Well, before French, Tori came up to me and said you went to her house last night. And, of course, I thought it wasn't true, but then she pulled out your bracelet as proof. She also... umm," I pause, afraid of his reaction. "She also said you two ha-had sex."

Campbell focuses on me, wide-eyed, in bewilderment. He lifts his hand up; pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes. "I did go to Tori's house last night." That sentence was all it took for me to get up, grab my bag, and walk away.

I speed walk down hallways and pass classrooms, till I'm out of the school and down the steps. Cam is yelling my name from behind me and is trying to get me to slow down. He's following me but I won't slow down. I lost all trust in him in that one sentence. I break out into an full speed sprint and tears start cascading down my face like a waterfall. How could he betray me like this?

I rush home as fast as my legs will take me. I get to the front door of my house and attempt to turn the knob, but it's locked. I pull my backpack off my shoulder and rummage through it to find my key. I find it and wrap my little fingers around it but it's too late. Campbell is climbing the steps to my house. I try to unlock the door anyways, but a hand appears on mine, stopping it from turning the key. I turn around and Campbell is there. "Just leave," I say through the tears.

"You didn't let me finish," Campbell whispers.

"I don't want to hear you," I spit and turn around and try to get inside, but Campbell swiftly grabs the key.

"Please, just listen," he mumbles.

"Fine, I'm listening," I say without turning around to face him.

He lets out a deep sigh. "Well, Maya, I went to Tori's house last night, but not for the reasons you think. I went there to pick up the rest of my things from her house. I must have left my bracelet there accidentally. I didn't have sex with her. I barely even saw her. She made up those lies to get to you. I'm sorry." He explains to the back of my head.

"Swear?" I ask and slowly turn around to look him in the eyes.

"Swear," he says with a smile as he snakes his arms around my waist, and kisses a tear away from my cheek.

"Sorry for over reacting," I mumble as I wrap my arms around his neck.

"Sorry for not finishing," he says into my ear, his lips brushing it softly.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I state as I bury my head in his neck.

"Can we just shut up so I can kiss you?" He questions, playfully.

"Okie dokie," I say with a smile as we lean in and lips met for a feverish, desire-filled kiss. It's as if all the emotions we've every felt for one another is put into this kiss. It's perfect.

I pull away to breathe, and he smiles down at me. "So do you know what's in two days?" Cam says.

"Umm..." I say, uncertain.

"Valentine's Day! Don't you remember I asked you to the dance a while ago?" He explains, excitedly.

"Oh, yeah the dance." I say, feigning excitement.

"That's the spirit," Cam says as we make our way back to school hand in hand.

**Again, sorry for everything that went bad in last chapter.**


	13. It's a Deal

**A/N: TIME FOR MY EXCUSES! My delay for updating is because the day after I updated Not A Game (my other story) was the day I received my report card. I got a 91 in Spanish (which in my school is a B) and since my mother expects more from me and this is my first B since 3rd grade, she took my phone away. And that is completely stupid because my brothers get C's and D's and she's proud of them for not failing. -.- ANYWAYS I do all of my writing on my phone which is my reason for not updating in forever.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, bitches. But I do own my face...sadly. **

**Story time, children...**

**Maya's POV**

"You look totes gorgeous in that dress, Maya," says Tristan as I come out of the dressing room in a simple sleeveless, knee-length, red dress.

"Really?" I say in disbelief. "Do you think it shows off my scar to much?" Referring to the scar I have right over the right side of my chest where I receive chemo therapy.

"You can barely see it," Tris says. "You are defiantly getting that dress, My. You look so fab."

"Are you sure?" I want to feel beautiful and admit I look good, but I can't for some reason.

"Positive. Take it off so we can pay." Tris chirps in an overly excited voice.

"Alright," I say defeated and thrilled at the same time. I go back in the dressing room and take off the elegant dress and replace it with my jeans and t-shirt. Then, come out and take the dress to the cashier. It's only $30 so I can pay for it without a problem. The dance is tomorrow night, and Tristan insists I get my nails and hair done.

"Next stop, the nail salon," he says happily.

"Alright, but can we go home after that? I tired of shopping." I grumble.

"Fine, you'll get your hair done tomorrow, but you still have to get your nails done." He demands.

We walk out of the store with our arms linked and walk to the nail salon in the mall. Tristan picks out a shade of red that matches my dress exactly. "This is so perfect," he says holding up the color.

"Okay, but you're paying," I say, refusing to pay for something I don't want. He sighs, but obliges.

I haven't had my nails done in years and it's a little weird. I go to the lady and hand her the color. She trims, files, and dips my nails in a foamy hand bath. Then, tells me to wash my hands and I do. As I walk away to the sinks, I hear the unmistakable voice of a bitch. Tori Santamaria. "Hi, Genevieve, it's time to get my nails done. Got a Valentine's day dance coming up, and I want to impress someone special!" Tori practically screams at the nail lady next to mine. She hasn't seen me yet so as I come back from washing my hands, she notices me and gives me a death glare.

"Sit, sit," says Genevieve. "What color?"

"Well, I want it to match my dress." Tori then proceeds to pull a dress out of her shopping bag. I notice the dress is similar to mine in color and style but it is a lot shorter and it has straps. "Like that color!" Tori says pointing to the color the lady is painting my nails with.

"Alright," Genevieve gets up to retrieve the same nail color as mine.

"So, Maya, how are you and Campbell?" She says.

"Amazing, actually, thanks for asking!" I say, somewhat sarcastically.

"Not long," she mumbles under the breath. I decide to ignore it. The lady finishes painting my nails and I go in the back to dry them. Once they're dry, Tristan pays and we leave the mall and go back to my house.

...

Cam's POV

Buzz, buzz. My phone vibrates in my pocket as I leave the locker room after practice. I pull it out and see a text from a unknown number. I open the text and read it slowly. "I know your secret and your precious girlfriend's. Tomorrow the whole school could know both. That is, if you don't meet me in the back corner of the Dot in 10 minutes, Cam."

My breath hitches and I stand there, on the front steps of Degrassi, frozen. I feel like I'm suffocating. My secret is that I used to cut. I think. And Maya's secret is... umm... Oh yeah her cancer. It doesn't even feel like a secret to me anymore because I've known and dealt with it with her for so long.

Anyways, I have to go to the Dot to stop who ever the hell knows our secrets from telling the whole school.

As I walk to the Dot with a hurried pace, I wonder who could possibly know both of our secrets. I know Maya does obviously, but it couldn't be her. Then, the only other person who knows my secret is… Tori. A scowl crosses my face as the realization crosses my mind. I'm furious, but how could she know about Maya's secret. It just doesn't add up. I reach the Dot and, low and behold, Tori Santamaria is sitting in the back corner with a smug grin on her face. She waves at me to sit with her. I walk over, still furious.

"So you came. I suppose you have a few questions. But before you ask any of them, I'd like to tell you what I know. You already know that I know that you cut yourself, and-" Tori starts, until I interject.

"Used to cut myself, as in the past, but Maya and I worked through it and I don't anymore."

"Doesn't matter it would still ruin your reputation." Tori has a smug grin on her face as Cam slumps in the booth. "And speaking of Maya, I know her secret, too. She has cancer."

"How-how do you know this?" I stutter.

"Let's just say for arguments sake, I have an inside source."

"Who?" I demand more than ask.

"A mutual friend," Tori replies,

simply.

"Fine," I give up, knowing I won't get anywhere. "So what's it going to take for you to keep your mouth shut?"

"First of all, Maya is not to hear a word of this. Second, you must take me to the dance." Tori replies with a satisfied grin.

"No way am I taking you to the dance. I'm taking Ma-" I whisper scream before being interrupted.

"Fine then I'll just have to tell the school about your little secrets."

"That's blackmail!"

"Exactly," she states with the same smile. "It's your choice, Campbell Saunders. Tomorrow, everyone could know your secrets or you could be going to the dance with a much better-looking girl. Take your pick."

I look thoughtful for a second before I let out a defeated sigh, knowing I have no other option. "Fine, I'll go to the dance with you, but only if you swear not to tell."

Her smile gets wider, and she gets up to leave, but before she does, she leans down and whispers in my ear. "Remember, not a word to Maya or the deals off. But you do have to tell her you're going with me. Oh and one more thing." She sits on my lap, and kisses me on the lips. I push her away, but again she whispers in my ear. "Kiss back, Cammy. Wouldn't want a secret to go around, would you?" She then smashes her lips to mine for a passionate kiss, but I, resentfully, kiss back this time. She breaks the kiss and gets up, but her fingers slightly graze my crotch before she does. I have to stop myself from gagging at the action. "See you tomorrow," Tori says and smirks at me.

"Bye," I say before she leaves. I, on the other hand, stay rooted in place. Thinking of what I'm going to tell Maya.

**I'll try to update soon.**

**PS Did you guys know that the esipode that comes out in June is going to be Alex Steele's (Tori's) last esipode? I'm pretty excited.**


	14. Happy Valentine's Day!

A/N: So I've had a lot of events going on but now since it's passed graduation everything should slow down. In summer, I'm hoping to update weekly.

NOTE: Sickening chapter up ahead with lots of crazy Tori and forced Cam+Tori romance. But it will all get better. I promise.

Oh and PS trigger warning. This one is a surprise though.

Cam's POV

I walk into school the day of the dance with so many questions and thoughts in my head. Last night, I cut myself because I was so angry and sad and confused. My life was going great. Perfect, actually. Until that little bitch Tori came in and screwed it all up. Now I have to tell Maya that I'm taking Tori and I can't even tell her the real reason I'm taking Tori to the dance. And to top it all off Maya is probably going to break up with me because of it. This completely and utterly sucks.

Lost in my thoughts, I don't realize that my feet have taken the familiar route to Maya's locker, and by the time I realize it, it's too late. Maya has seen me, and she is waving and has a huge grin plastered on her face. And because of some spoiled bitch, I have to go and ruin her happiness.

"Hey," Maya greets me. She's still very chipper when I have reached her, but she notices something is wrong quickly. "What's wrong?" Her face is flushed.

I scratch the back of my head uncomfortably. "Umm... I have something to tell you." I look above Maya and see Tori staring daggers at me. It's a silent warning not to tell Maya of the blackmail part of our deal.

"What is it?" She questions innocently. I stare at my feet for a moment so she puts her arms around my waist. "Baby, you can tell me anything." She gives me a sad smile and then bites her lip. She looks so lost, her bright blue eyes show her innocence in a way words could never comprehend.

"You're gonna hate me after I tell you this."

"You're scaring me. Just tell me!" Maya exclaims. She closes her eyes for a brief moment to calm down.

"I-I'm sorta going to the..." I trail off for a second. "To the dance with umm... Tori." I say her name slowly.

Maya jumps back. "You're what?!" She screams. "Why?! How?!"

"I'm sorry and I-" I am cut off by the she-devil herself.

"He realized he wanted better, right Cammy?" Tori says. She leans in and nibbles on my ear and whispers, "Play along with it or deals off." She wraps her arms around my waist, and I reluctantly put my arm around her shoulder.

"Yeah," is all I can manage to say.

"How could you?!" Maya screams through her tears. "You are a liar and a jerk and a cheater! You said you loved me! I thought I could trust you but I was wrong! I hate you, Campbell Saunders! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! We are broken up forever! Go to hell, both of you!" Maya's face changes briefly to a look of sadness that breaks my heart, but then it goes back to fuming rage. She spends another moment, just looking at Tori and me. She's wondering if this is real or not. Then, Maya storms off, crying.

It takes all my strength not to run after her, but I can't let Tori tell people our secrets. But is it worth Maya and I not being together? At the moment, it is because I have no time to think about this. Tori smashes her lips to mine and I don't kiss back. She pulls away and whispers in my ear again. "Kiss back." Then she kisses me again, but I don't kiss back. "I said 'Kiss back!'" This time I regretfully kiss back, but this isn't just a kiss. Tori makes us go I to a full out make out session in the hallway. Gross.

...

I skipped the rest of my classes today. I went home and cried till my doorbell rang after school officially got out.

I spring up from bed, hoping it was Maya. I look in the mirror and do the best I can to cover up the fact that I was crying. Then, I run downstairs and swing the door open. Instead of finding my dream girl there, I find my nightmare. Tori. "How did you find my new billet house?" I demand more than ask.

"I have my ways." She pushes her way into the house. "So I was thinking we go up to your room and..." Her sentence trails off but I know where this is going."

"No."

"Cam, we have a deal, remember? Besides I'm a great kisser." She says. "And I can do some other things with my mouth, too." Tori winks.

"No."

"Then I guess deals off?" Tori asks.

I sigh. I'm defeated again. I wonder how worth it this deal is. "Okay," I say, sadly.

"Good. Now let's get started."

...

We made out for about half an hour till Tori said she had to get ready for the dance, but we didn't go any further than that. Making out with Tori was the grossest thing I've ever done. I'm not sure if this deal is worth it anymore. But I can't think about that right now because my mind is preoccupied with thoughts about Maya.

Pretty soon it's time for the dance. I quickly throw on a white Oxford shirt and a red tie. I grab my wallet, phone, and my billet father's car keys. I get to borrow his car tonight even though I only have my permit. I turn on my phone for a brief second to see if Maya texted me. Nothing. I sigh; I know it's going to take a lot to earn back her trust. But I'm prepared to fight for her, till the day I die.

I walk down the stairs, out the door, and to my billet dad's car. I get in and drive to Tori's house. The roads are familiar because I used to live there.

I arrive at Tori's house after about ten minutes of driving. I turn the key, and get out of the car. I walk up to the door, and ring the doorbell. Literally right after that, the door swings open to reveal Tori Santamaria. She was waiting at the door for me.

Tori appearance makes me want to gag. She is wearing a tight red dress, and her hair is in a ugly, but supposed to be fancy, bun. Also, some six inch stripper heels. I keep wishing she'll just turn into my sweet, elegantly innocent Maya.

"Cam, you look great," Tori complements seductively.

"Yeah," I agree, but I can tell she wanted me to complement her too. Hah, no.

"Come inside. We need to take pictures." Tori demands.

This time I actually voice my thoughts. "Hah, no."

...

Tori and I arrive at the dance after an extremely awkwardly silent car ride. We get out of the car, and I decide to walk in front of Tori instead of with her. But she speeds up and grabs my hand. I instinctively pull away, but she grabs my hand again.

I walk fast into the school, wondering if Maya will be there. I hope so. I walk into the gym, where the dance is being held, and see her! She looks stunning in her red dress that is slightly similar to Tori's, but Maya's is much more playful and innocent. Maya is here with...another guy?

I start hyperventilating. Maya is here with another guy. A guy who she seems to be having a great time with. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god!

_Who is he? Why is he with her? What about me?_ All these questions are running through my head, and I think I might have a breakdown. _Breathe, Campbell. Breathe._ I tell myself.

I calm down just a little; my breathing is back to normal. But my anxiety over this whole situation is really getting to me and has not subsided in the least. I don't know what to do about anything.

"Campbell?" Tori asks. "You look pale. Are you alright?"

"No, I'm not actually." Hearing Tori's voice hasn't made me sad like it used to. No, not sad; I am angry. Angry at Tori, angry at the guy Maya is with, and mostly angry at myself. "I'm angry, you little bitch. Angry at everything that has happened in the past two days! That should be me with Maya, having a great time! I shouldn't be here with you against my goddamn will! You know what? Go tell everyone my secret! See if I care!" I yell but with the music blaring, nobody really seems to notice.

"Okay, will do." Tori chirps, then walks away.

Now that Tori is gone, I start frantically looking for Maya. When I was screaming at Tori, I lost her sight of her and that guy in the crowd. I look for her for what seems like forever. Then I finally see Tristan standing by the punch bowl talking to, who I can only assume is, Fab, the guy Maya said Tristan likes. I hastily walk over to him, but in the end I break into a run. I reach Tristan and tap him on the shoulder. He slowly turns away from Fab, and looks at me for a second. He rolls his eyes at me, and turns around. I guess Maya told him what happened.

"Tristan! Seriously, I need to find her. Please." I beg.

"Why, Saunders? So you can break her heart again?" Tristan asks. I flinch at his words because it physically stings to hear I broke the love of life's heart.

"No, Tristan, I have reasons. I was protecting us. Tori is a bitch. A huge bitch. And would never date her, especially over Maya."

"Well, I don't really believe you, but Maya was over there," he says pointing near the makeshift stage. "Last time I saw her, she was with Zig over there."

"Zig?" I inquire

"Her date tonight." Tristan says slowly.

I somehow maintain my cool. "Okay, thanks, Tristan."

"You're welcome. But don't tell Maya that I helped. And if you hurt her again, I swear I'll get my brother to beat the hell out of you."

"I won't. I promise." I say, and wave good-bye to Tristan and Fab.

I look everywhere for Maya, but I don't see her. I do, however, find Zig, the guy Maya was with earlier. He isn't with Maya like earlier. "Zig," I yell to get his attention.

"Hey, oh dude, you're Campbell, right?" A flash of recognition appears on his face, and I nod. "The guy Maya wouldn't shut up about."

What? I think. Maya didn't shut up about me? "Yeah, umm do you know where she is?"

"Nah, man, she ran off after I suggested we sleep together tonight." Zig explains.

I stand there dumbfounded. Then, rage sweeps over me like a blanket and I punch him hard in the mouth. I storm off to where I know Maya goes when she's sad. The greenhouse.

...

MAYA'S POV

After Zig suggested we have sex, I went to the one place I know is safe. I'm currently in the greenhouse balling my eyes out. "Why are all guys such dicks?" I wonder aloud.

Then I see it. A knife. A large, angry one that is calling to me. "Use me, use me. I can take away all the pain and misery you're feeling. No more Campbell. No more Zig. No more Tori. No more chemo therapy. No more cancer. Just use me. Think about it, two, vertical cuts on your wrists and you're done." It beckons to me.

Oh my god. An I really thinking about killing myself over some boy drama? I've never self-harmed before and now I'm thinking about suicide.

But it's not just some boy drama. It's my life. I could get rid of all the pain. My parents could stop wondering whether or not I'll die from cancer. Katie can stop worrying about her dumb little sister. Cam can be with Tori without any regrets. It will be better for everyone, especially me.

I grab the tool that will hopefully end my life, and press it to my left wrist. It takes all the strength I have, both emotionally and physically, to cut in my skin, but I do it. Then, I cut my other wrist without hesitation.

"What did I just do?" I scream. "Oh my god." I think about screaming for help, but then I realize what I just did. I set myself free.

Free from everything in life. Free from cancer, and Campbell, and Tori, and my parents, and Zig, and Katie. "I'm free!" I yell.

I begin to lose consciousness, and take notice of all the blood around me. A symbol of freedom. Right before I blackout, I see Campbell running through the door of the greenhouse toward me.

A/N: Maya is NOT dead yet. She just blacked out from lose of blood.

And self harm is a really, really bad thing. It's not something to poke fun at or laugh at. So if you do self harm, please talk to someone about it. A friend, a parent, a therapist, a teacher, anyone. Please, don't self harm.


	15. The Hospital

**FAST UPDATE well for me**

**Thank you so much for your reviews last chapter. I'm so happy the people reading this story aren't just looking for the happy ending. I'm ecstatic that you look the realism in this story. :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of its characters.**

**PS Lots of cursing in this chapter. If you don't like cursing, get over it.**

**CAMS POV**

"I'm free!" I hear Maya yell. I'm in the garden, near the greenhouse when I hear it. It sounds more like a straggled cry than the sweet, loving voice of my ex-girlfriend. I break out into a sprint toward the greenhouse. I stop in my tracks, my mouth open, at the sight. Maya laying on the floor of the of the greenhouse with two huge angry-looking gashes on her wrists in a pool of her own blood. Her face is flushed and her eyes are closed.

"Shit," I say. What do I do? I've never been the strong one in this relationship. For a second, I just stand there, on the verge of tears, watching the girl I love slip away from this world. Then, my brain starts to function at the thought of losing Maya. "Help!" I scream. "I need help!" I hear quick footsteps and then someone comes through the door. I gasp because I'm so shocked.

In all her glory, Tori Santamaria stands in the doorway. She takes in the scene calmly, like she knew it would happen. Then she speaks up, "Have you called 911 yet?" She asks and rushes to Maya's side.

"No, I will right now." I say and pull out my phone.

"Take off your shirt." She commands. I obey without question; she seems to know what she's doing. Tori takes my shirt and rips in half. She ties one half around the cut on her left arm as tight as she can to stop the bleeding. Then she does the same with her other arm.

Meanwhile, I dial 911, and press call. "911, what's your emergency?"

"My girlfriend—wait, ex-girlfriend— is bleeding a lot. I think she-she cut herself in a suicide attempt. Help!" I say frantically.

"Calm down, sir. I have your location. Ambulances will be there shortly. Stay on the line with me till I tell you to get off. Have you applied pressure to the wounds?" The dispatcher says.

"Yes, my..." I trail off, wondering what to call Tori. "My friend applied pressure to the wounds." I say, truly meaning that now that she is helping us.

"Okay, check if she's breathing."

"Tori, is she breathing?" I ask, my voice cracking.

"Yeah, but barely. Her bleeding has stopped though." Tori comments.

With that, I release a breath of relief I didn't know I was holding. "She's breathing and her bleeding had stopped." I tell the dispatcher.

"Okay, now go find adult help. A nurse or teacher or parent, go get them. But do not hang up the phone yet." The dispatcher instructs.

"I understand." Then I take the phone away from my ear, and tell Tori, "I'm going to find help. You stay here with Maya."

"Okay," she agrees.

I sprint off to go get help. As soon I get in the school, I run into Simpson. "Mr. Saunders, why are you shirtless? And covered in... Is that blood?"

"Yes, and Maya needs help." I say and start taking him back to the greenhouse as I relay the story to him. "Maya? Maya Matlin?" He asks dumbfounded as we run back to the greenhouse. We arrive in seconds and see Tori in the same position hovering over Maya.

"She's still breathing." Tori explains.

"Thank, God." Mr. Simpson says. "Tori, do you know CPR?" She nods. "Start compressions if she stops breathing."

"Sir? Sir!" I hear then I realize I'm still on the phone.

"Yes?" I say into the phone.

"The medics should be there in a minute. You may end the call now." She permits slowly.

"Okay, thanks," I say and hang up. We all hear the sound of sirens and let out a sigh of relief.

...

"Why?" I ask looking at the girl in front of me.

"Why what?" Asks Tori. She is across from me in the hospital waiting room, waiting to hear any news about Maya. Her parents are in Vancouver for some conference thing but are on the next flight over, and Katie isn't picking up her phone.

"Why did you help her—us? You hate us." I question. That question has been in my head since Tori came through the doors of the greenhouse.

"Yeah, I do—did, I mean—but not enough to let her die in front of me. And we both know why she tried to..." Her sentence trails off. "We know she tried to kill herself because of me. So I owed it to her to try to stop the bleeding, to try to stop her death."

"Well, umm, thanks. She needed it. And I know she didn't just try to kill herself because of you. It was because of me, and Zig, and probably cancer." I say, trying to calm Tori down.

"Wait, Zig? Zig Novak? We dated in middle school. What does he have to do with anything?" Before I could respond, a look of horror crosses Tori's face. "Did he ask her to...?" Her question trails off but I know where this is going.

"Yeah, he asked her to have sex. How did you know?" I ask, slightly puzzled.

"Like I said, we dated. He asked me that to, but I obliged." She informs me, sadly.

Before I could question further a nurse comes in to the waiting room. "Maya Matlin's family?" I stand up.

"I'm her brother." I lie like Maya did the night I went to the hospital after a hockey game.

"Hmm, are your parents here?" She questions me.

"No, they're in Vancouver but they are flying here soon." I explain to the nurse.

"Okay, well, Maya's body is sort of in limbo right now, or that's how the doctor described it. She goes from being fine one minute, then her heart's pace will quicken. She'll show some of the signs of an upcoming cardiac arrest, but then she'll be fine again. Like her body can't decide what it wants to do. Like she can't decide." The nurse says and I feel my heart sink a little. "She is a very, very rare case. It could be because of her brain cancer, but we're not sure. But rest assured we are working very hard to find out the problem and eliminate it at its source. She's in very good hands, but her condition is currently is medical mystery. And I'm sorry to say that she'll most likely be in that state of unconscious for a while, days, maybe weeks."

My mouth drops open and I struggle to maintain the little strands of sanity that hold me together. "Okay," I say, finally. "When can I see her?"

"Well, like I said, she's still unconscious now, but you can go in if you like." I nod, and follow her down the dreary hallways to Maya's hospital room. It's different from her normal hospital room, more basic almost.

The nurse opens the door, and steps aside so I can go in. I can't see Maya yet because she's behind a curtain. "I'll leave you alone. Let us know if you or Maya need anything." She says with a slight smile, then proceeds to leave the room. Before she can even shut the door, I pull the curtain aside and look at my sleeping beauty.

She looks beautifully terrible. She is attached to several tubes and wires and who knows what, her hair is a complete mess, her makeup completely ruined, her gorgeous dress was replaced with a hospital gown, and to top it all off there are two giant, angry-looking scars on her wrists. The sight makes me want to cry, but I can't help but find it beautiful. Maya is beautiful and the fact that she is still living and breathing is enough for me. She is beautiful even in this distressed state of hers. Just a different kind of beautiful.

I sit in the chair close to her bed side. What am I even supposed to do here? Just stare? I'd be content doing that but it's kind of creepy and if one of the nurses walked in they would be creeped as well. I decide to say a few words in case she can somehow hear me. I grab her hand, press it to my lips, and begin.

"Maya. My sweet, sweet Maya. You looked absolutely stunning tonight. Completely amazing. I'm so sorry I couldn't go with you tonight, but I promise when you wake up I'll explain everything, love. But I never loved anyone but you. And I'll never love anyone like I love you right now, right here. It's crazy how amazing we are together. Just crazy. What's also crazy is how much we've helped each other. Thank you for helping me through my cutting and everything. I'm going to help you through yours, love. We will get through this, we always do. I'm so so so sorry this had to happen to you, beautiful. It shouldn't have; you're perfect, we're perfect, everything should've just been…perfect. I love you, Maya Matlin. So much. I'm going to write you a letter every single damn day till you wake up. So when you do, you'll see that all I did was think about you."

**AN: so I'm probably gonna be writing a Miles/Maya story soon. Would anyone be interested in that. Review!**


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